Seasonal Greetings

I was going to wish a Merry Christmas and a
Happy New Year to everyone, but wasn’t sure if this would conflict with the diversity and equality agenda that prevails across the public sector. I think the following greeting is about as politically correct as I can make it, though I’m sure someone will tell me if rget think otherwise!
Please accept with no obligation, implicit or
implied my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of
the winter solstice holiday, practiced
within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to
practice religious or secular traditions
at all . . .
A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the
onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2007, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other cultures
whose contributions to society have made
Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only "BRITAIN" on the planet,) and without regard to
the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, or religious faith of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting
these terms. This greeting is subject to
clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually
implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is void where
prohibited by law, and is revocable at the
sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good
tidings for a period of one year, or until
the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wisher.

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